How to find joy in some of the hardest transitions

This isn’t my first rodeo. Selling my yoga studio was so hard and so easy at the same time. On one hand I was ready to move on and start my coaching business and graduate from having a brick and mortar business that just wasn’t bringing me joy anymore. On the other hand, it was hard to let go and release that identity I had so well assumed, the community I had built and my purpose in action: teaching yoga all the time.

Fast forward two years later, I’m finally closing the doors of my hair salon, my other brick and mortar business, retiring from being behind the chair as a hairstylist for the past 12 years…. Annnd it’s definitely “a moment” in time — I’m having a moment. Even though this has been a plan I’ve had, now that I am really in it, without a question I know this is the right move, it’s a lot to process. Some days I just want to be done already and other days I wonder what life will be like… after.

Here’s the deal: Humans are meant to evolve. We are intended to grow, change, progress, to not stay the same. It’s natural to outgrow situations, relationships, jobs, roles that we’ve held. There is also a deeper defining point to embrace, the shedding of identity that happens when we are transitioning. You know, that in between state? Like, we’ve already begun to naturally evolve and identify with a new part of ourselves, but we are still living in the old identity (and job, relationship, body, etc.) A “shoulder season” of life if you will.

There is a deep acceptance that can absolutely bring freedom to the moment, if we allow it. Acceptance and trust. I have a strong belief that we are meant to enjoy life. Not in a toxic positivity kind of way; no, it is absolutely your responsibility to feel the hard stuff, heal your core wounds, live through the dark night of your soul, do your shadow work — and also, enjoy your life. In my experience, the deeper inner work we do with ourselves, the more fulfilling life turns out to be.

As you are in the internal process of shedding your old identity and embracing a new, use these external daily practices to help keep you grounded, steady and focused on where you’re headed:

1. Remind yourself: This is only temporary. I know it’s cliche but it’s true. Every day we live in two realities, let’s tune into them now: one reality is the undeniable physical reality you’re existing in at this very moment. Feel your body breathing, feel whatever your hands and feet are touching, whether it’s the device you’re holding or the structure that you’re sitting or standing on. The physical, real reality of right now. The second reality is the one in your mind. What stories is the mind making up right now? What anxieties is it producing? What future is it worrying about, what part of the past is it replaying? What problem is it trying to solve? And ask, is any of it true and/or important in this very, present, true [physical moment? Probably not. When you look at the physical reality of right now you start to see, you’re okay. You’re breathing, you’re capable, you’re safe. You can come back to a more resourced state when you tap into the undeniable reality of right now and wake up from the mind’s created reality. This is taking your power back from the conditioned mind. And recognize: this moment is fleeting. It’s going by. The discomfort you may feel in life right now is only temporary. Humans deter from feeling discomfort. The mind is programmed to protect us from pain, so we hate discomfort. Can you be present with the physical truth of this moment and let the discomfort move through you? Knowing it is just a moment in time, in the grand scheme of your life, this moment is a fleeting, precious one.
2. Search for joy. I want you to find 10 things you’re grateful for everyday and if it’s been a hard day, name 20. Gratitude changes our frequency and puts us in a more open, abundant state. Our perspectives are way more creative and free when we are living in a state of gratitude, we remember joy is our natural state. Write down what you are grateful for every morning and/or every night. Recall specifics from the day or past 24 hours that you are giving thanks for, not just the same general things each day, something new. Do this for 30 days and watch your heart open and perspective shift into a brighter place.
3. Say no, more. Especially if you are shifting in your life, new boundaries will come up. Say no to things you used to do that don’t fill you up anymore. Remember that new behavior yields new results. If you are making big changes in your life,you’re naturally going to have new behavior to go with, embrace this! No need to resist it. New friends, new hangout places, new hobbies, new music, new clothes, new house, car, furniture, home decor. Create space in your life for all of the new by saying no to the old. No, more!
4. Take extra time for your own care each day/week. Nourishment, reflection and rest. Stop eating processed/fast food. You absorb the vibration of what you eat, high vibe food only! Hydrate. Find a way to consume (more) quality water. And rest. Downtime is so necessary when you are undergoing construction in your life. Add an extra hour of sleep at night when you can. Unplug from devices earlier or give yourself one day a week when you are not attached digitally. Time in nature helps to ground our nervous system and energy when anxiety is high, or when we feel depleted. Take a hike or neighborhood walks and breathe deeply. Fresh air is underrated and so good for clearing our minds and refreshing our energy. Find a body of water if you have one near you, and just go sit by it, maybe put your feet in if possible. Water is incredibly cleansing and can also help with relaxation. What does deep connected self care and reflective time look like for you?
5. Sleep more & move your body. Did I mention sleep more? This is when the body repairs itself, so if you’re going through big changes and overhauls, times of high stress on the body and spirit, guess what you need much more of? That’s right, get those zzz’s baby! Move your body each day, whether it’s a gentle walk or pilates class or maybe a HIIT workout or practicing yoga (if you have an established workout routine, be sure to implement at least one rest day per week.) Explore embodiment: do something weekly that connects you somatically. I love embodiment work for its tremendous nervous system regulation and healing benefits. Breathwork is my favorite go-to, also dancing around my house to my favorite playlist and hopping on my yoga mat are my favorite embodiment practices. And I love a good Peloton workout with one of my favorite instructors that motivates me and helps me forget about my stress. When you move your body, you will sleep better. It’s a win-win situation.
6. Meditation & prayer. Newsflash: no one is “bad at meditation” — you’re just simply not letting yourself be open to the practice. This is not about doing something good, or being able to forget or stop your thoughts, this is about connecting to your HIgher Self, clearing your channel to receive inner guidance by becoming a greater observer of your experience. Please take time to do this, it is just as transformative as living life through a lens filtered in gratitude. Stillness is work, and it’s a practice that will change your life. Set a space in your house that is sacred, where you spend quiet reflective time each day. Let this space be one you enjoy going to to just be. Take some deep breaths, say a prayer if you like, repeat affirmations or mantras if that feels good, or simply just ask the question of whatever is on your heart. Use your breath as your anchor and start to observe your thoughts and your body’s reaction to the moment. What if you didn’t need to do or fix anything about this moment? What if you just allowed yourself to be? What would that feel like? What does peace feel like? Take time exploring stillness and discover the clarity that comes to you in these moments. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes it’s obvious. Trust yourself and where you are. You are right where you need to be.
7. Write letters to yourself: Thank you notes to your past self and love letters from you future self. Thank the past version of you. Thank yourself for all that you have done, overcome, grown through, all of the decisions you made to get to where you are, thank yourself for all of the mistakes you learned from and the journey that you’ve been on. This is a beautiful way to close a chapter of your life with deep recognition and acknowledgement. This may be a one time thing, or a continual process. You can write more than one letter! From your future self, write a letter to the present day version of you, thanking you for your strength, your wisdom and perseverance. Let them tell you how good it is in the future. Bring your vision to life and paint the picture of the blissful life that you are living, be specific and remember to praise and thank the present day version of you for all of the effort, hard work and determination it took to move through this season in your life.
8. Conscious manifestation for what you are calling in. You’ll touch on this in your letter from your future self and I want you to go deeper. Whether it’s a journal or via a voice note on your phone, spend time bringing a detailed vision of your ideal dream future to life. Make sure it is least 50% believable to start…Where are you headed in your life? What is your intention for all you are doing right now? What are you working towards? What kind of life are you creating for yourself? When will it happen? Where will you be? What relationships do you have in your life? Where do you live? What do you do each day? How does it feel to have your dreams come true? The first time I recorded my future vision the recording was 30 minutes, I was really in it! Let yourself really go into the details here, like you’re telling a good friend, someone you really trust, all of the blessings in your life. And actually…call up one of your high vibe friends (don’t have any of those yet? We need to work on that!) and talk to them in present tense like your future vision is already happening. Have them hype you up and chime in with all of the goodness that is happening in your life. And make sure you do it for them too! Manifestation is fun to feel for yourself and to hold for others.

Let these practices support your natural evolution, your upleveling and biggest transition. It can be a mixed bag of emotions when we are going through big changes in our life. Feel all of the feels. It’s okay to cry (it’s actually great to cry) and to feel sad, bittersweet, excited, melancholy, annoyed, tired, all of it. Every emotion is part of your experience and is valid. You are so worthy of having your most fulfilling life and to live in embodied joy each day.

Keep going.

From my heart to yours,

Emily